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PATRICK STILL LIVES! (NSFW)

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As you all would know; Art is subjective. One man’s cup of tea may be another man’s cup of pee and Patrick Still Lives is no exception. You are either going to love it and think it’s one of the most ultimate exploitation films ever made, or you are going to hate its fucking guts, thinking it’s one of the most vile, misogynistic, piles of trash you have ever had the displeasure of laying your anger filled eyes on.

Me,  I think it’s the freakin’ tits. Twice the film the original Patrick is (I think it suffered severely with pacing problems dragging like a dead Siamese Twin)  and every time there’s even the slightest chance you are about to get bored from the constant nudity or ridiculous plotting, there’s a boot to the nuts with some jaw dropping violence or unintentionally hysterical dialogue.

Patrick Still Lives!

Patrick Still Lives!

Fans of Italian cinema, or folks who have read my other reviews here, will already know the Italians had a hard-on for remaking hit films. Usually these were US films, but in this instance, along with Mad Max they were Australian. This is actually noted in Mark Hartley’s Not Quite Hollywood by Quentin Tarantino. So it’s a coincidence that Mark Hartley is the director of the current Patrick remake.

So welcome my friends to Mario Landi’s morally devoid piece of celluloid and erotic horror Patrick Vive Ancora or to us folk who speaka-da-English Patrick Still Lives, a sequel in name only to Richard Franklin’s Aussie 1978 psychological thriller Patrick, of fucking course.

The director of this sleaze platter is Mario Landi, who is also responsible for Giallo a Venezia , a film famous for featuring a killer that stabs his female victims in the crotch with scissors. Landi was born in Sicily in 1920 and first learnt his craft in the Italian TV industry where he worked for over 20 years making TV shows and movies, until he directed his first feature film in 1976 called Batton Story; a comedy/drama about prostitution. Landi only made a handful of films until he died in the early 90s but it is Giallo A Venezia and Patrick Vive Ancore where he teamed up with producer Gabriele Crisanti (Malabimba) that are of any note . Crisanti says of Landi was a happy go lucky guy who had bad emphysema and smoked 80 cigs a day. Despite this he was hard working and very knowledgeable.

Just a typical day in an 80's Italian hospital.

Just a typical day in an 80’s Italian hospital.

Crisanti first had the idea to make a Patrick sequel. However when asked about it now he seems to think Patrick was actually a Scandinavian film! Even though this is apparently a sequel, it’s actually more of a direct remake. The general storyline is pretty much the same. But because this is Italian and a Mario Landi film, every time a female character is on screen she is either:

1.) Naked.

2.) Naked and flicking the budgie.

3.) Having fights which gets her clothes torn, which then in turn takes her back to number 1.

Also this film is hyper violent and features some scenes of sexual violence which I think would still have problems getting past the Australian censors today. I’ll get to some of these later but one scene is very similar to a certain one in Joe D’Amato’s notorious Caligula 2: The Untold Story.

4

She has chosen 1.) Naked.

When the movie starts off,  Patrick (played by Italian pop star Gianni Dei) is with his father at the side of the road after their car breaks down. Before you can say “I’ve got fake blood all over my face” Patrick is sconed in the bonce with a bottle by an irresponsible litterbug with Ponting’s ,cricket wicket, quickness and aim. This sends poor ol’ Patty into a coma and into La La land. He is taken to a wellness centre in the hope he will snap out of it. For some reason though, this place moonlights as a wellness centre and a research lab where they tap into and enhance coma victims’ ESP capabilities. It’s also a mansion and country estate for good looking couples with impressive busts. Why have these people come to this place? Who keeps on knocking them off? And why don’t they like wearing clothes? Ha-ha, even when they do, the ladies still at least have their nipples hanging out. Crazy man, crazy! Patrick’s father has brought him here to enhance his telekinesis and use it against one of these visitors who must be the person behind the bottle? I put a question mark there as the story has as many holes as OJ’s wife.

Sconed in the bonce!

Sconed in the bonce!

The thing for me that makes this film, apart from the constant graphic nudity, is the violence. First of all Patrick boils some poor geezer in a swimming pool. Where were you every time my kettle packed up? A woman gets decapitated by an electric window. Another one gets ripped apart by dogs where they maul around the crotch. In one of the most hardcore scenes, veteran Italian genre actress Mariangela Giordano from Burial Ground gets a fire poker rammed up her until it expires out her mouth. This was dreamt up Crisanti after they had an argument. She’s a very pretty lady, as is Andrea Belfiore who we get to see in a very erotic masturbation scene . Another thing is that most of the cast is pretty despicable in their own ways, so you kind of hang out for them to get knocked off. The soundtrack is completely brilliant. Sounds very much like Goblin and I’ve heard many state wrongly that it is. However, that honour belongs to Berto Pisano who also did Burial Ground and Strip Nude for Your Killer. Like I stated earlier, all the actresses are very nice to look at and spend most of the time naked. The gore is quite shocking in some places and they did quite well for the time with the FX.

This is Mariangela Giordano's death scene. Can you guess where the entry point is?

This is Mariangela Giordano’s death scene. Can you guess where the entry point is?

Go see Mark Hartley’s Partick remake and if you’re still keen for more horizontal coma action, you could do much worse than the mad bonkers Patrick Vive Ancora. I’ll guarantee you. There’s piss funny dialogue like “Die alone Whore!” and “Mr Cough was killed by a fatality.” Also plenty more over the top sex and gore scenes which I will leave for you to discover for yourself.

1 Comment

  1. Jason Driver. says:

    One other thing I missed out. All you Gialli heads take note this film also contains excessive use of the drink J&B Scotch. Almost as native as the black gloves Giallo wise.

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